Women and Internet Addiction, Part 3: My addiction levels, alternatives and their relative success.
Where do I go to talk?
Quoting from the first post: I escape from my life in 2 ways, with the two often merging - one is the internet and the other is by making myself incredibly busy. I web-surf, participate in chat groups, blog, take classes, shoot pictures, edit pictures, read at least a book a month, practice the piano, walk the dogs, and of course, I work full time. At the end of the day I might be tired, but at least I would be hitting the bed with my sanity intact.
Let's go into the internet aspect of it, since that is what the original article is about. I blog. You are here, you know it. When I was pregnant, I had a private pregnancy blog to share with friends. I wrote about fun things, painful things and the bizarre changes I was seeing in my body. In this blog, I mostly write about my baby, my dogs, the occasional creative project and I post tons of photographs. It is a blog where friends can keep up with my life and not fidget uncomfortably when they see me because they've read something personal about my life. Perhaps this post will be an exception and not a trend.
My involvement with my chat group started 6 years ago when I first got Kuttu. I needed to find a dog-savvy internet group that could guide me on selecting a breeder, training my new puppy, feeding him right, etc. We started meeting for play dates when we realized a majority of us were late-20's (then) women looking to socialize with our dogs. As we got to know each other offline, we made our own topic-independent chat group which continues to be animal-savvy, but we discuss our latest reads, movies, partners, health or life problems, and of course, our pets. Despite the obvious public nature of the board, this is my go-to place when I need to get something off my chest.
But I am definitely getting hit by the reload disease. The one where you constantly refresh your browser hoping for something new to read, a fresh comment on your blog, one more email or even, as a last resort, Google reader telling you that someone else updated their blog and you can go read it now! It is debilitating in some ways, but when I decide I can't do this any more, I find myself faced with an impossibly vast void that nothing can fill. Whom would I talk to? I already take my dogs along on walks so that I can talk to them instead of talking to myself. It doesn't get much worse than that, so I know I need to continue living in my online community.
Are there any alternatives to the internet?
I try to counter my internet life with real life hobbies. I try to organize as many small social gatherings as I can handle, pick up hobbies, take classes, play the piano and take pictures. Working out used to be a regular contributor in this department, but it no longer is. I can't find a way to schedule it in and I suspect this is one of the causes for my unreliable happiness.
My biggest non-internet hobby right now is photography. Much like blogging, photography can be a blessing and a curse. You put a lot of yourself into it and you put the results "out there" for the world to see. Sometimes you get feedback and sometimes silence. You have no idea whether it is appreciated, unseen or disliked. But so far, I'm moving. In fact, as you are reading this, I am off polishing my skills at a workshop. This is my escape and my reality, magically merging by a stroke of luck.
Conclusion & Where do I go from here?
I agree with the article that we see more and more women living out their lives on the internet. Perhaps it is the draw of being someplace where you never have to see someone in their torn shirt and dirty shoes. Things are clean, most people are on their best behavior and some actually care. It is a world available at your fingertips, and it fills many voids that life leaves us unprepared to deal with. You just have to be careful whom you pick to talk to and which community you use (security, privacy, copyright concerns, etc).
But I don't believe this it is a serious disorder of any kind. It is just another thing to do. Perhaps it is more noticeable because it is done sitting in one spot, but as MrM says, "How is it any worse than watching TV for hours?". It isn't. I've benefited a lot from the internet, I've learned to raise our dogs, I've been able to keep in touch with friends better, share my life with my family, and build a community of like-minded people. I don't see myself going into a twelve-step (deaddiction) program over this, because whom would I talk to then?
2 comments:
You can always call me on the telephone, unless you're a phone phobe like Cate!
One thing you said resonated with me: I don't have a home I feel comfortable inviting people into. I wish I did, but the reality is that with two dogs who have terrible manners when it comes to greeting visitors, a small house with some need for repair, and a constant influx of mess, I just don't want to invite people here. It limits my opportunities to socialize which increases my sense of isolation. However, on the internet, no one can see that I really need to wash my kitchen floor and I can find other moms with dirty kitchen floors who understand how difficult it is to find the opportunity to take apart the kitchen to get it washed.
I understand the house thing. We got slipcovers for our couch so that I can wash it before having people over for dinner. I feel bad that they all have to leave with fur on their clothes. We have to crate our dogs before opening the door (except with friends who know them) because they are WILD the first 5 minutes. And right now, you are already overloaded with so much to do, I can imagine that getting your house "presentable" is a huge pain. Do you have a patio you can directly walk guests to? That way you could at least have short coffee meetups without taxing yourself.
PS: I'm not a phone phobe, but I can be phone shy at the outset :)
Post a Comment