Kindness: A forgotten gem

I was having a really crappy day recently, feeling unsure of myself, feeling unsuccessful in my various roles as a mom, a pet owner, an engineer, a sibling, etc. When I shared my feelings, I got "Yes, that's a tough spell" or "It will pass" or "Go get them, tiger!". They were all well-meaning responses, but left me feeling emptier than ever.

I then posted to my regular chat group. A little while later, someone replied to me, and in doing so, touched me with her kindness. She didn't say my problems would go away and nor did she tell me to shake it off and fight. Instead, her response gave me minutes of respite where I could see myself through her eyes, which were undeniably kinder to me than mine were.

The incident left me with the realization that most of us have forgotten how to be kind to each other. How often do we find ourselves awkwardly short of words when someone shares something about their lives? How often are we bored with the conversation once our curiosity is satisfied?

I had written these thoughts and forgotten about them till something else happened. I had a bad episode with my disc and my spine, which made my left leg very painful and useless, and left me in bed for a two days. As I often do, I posted about my condition on Facebook as soon as I could prop myself up.

Facebook is an interesting social phenomenon where you can count the number of friends you have either by the number of Happy Birthdays you receive, or by the number of people who say "I live in the same city as you - can I help you while you lie helplessly in bed?".

It opened my eyes wider to how robotic our lives often are, how I often barely put my email away when someone calls or how I prefer reading a book to having a conversation.

I want to thank my friends who helped me on each of these low points in the past month with conversation, food or transportation. I hope I learn to take a page out of your books and practice some kindness.